Funny story, it’s taken me this long to write this post because I doubted the upgrade I wanted to post about.
It’s amazing how easy positivity can turn into doubt and negatively. We are in the middle of selling our house and it is a beautiful home. We’re even in a seller’s market because the inventory for sale is half what it should be this time of year. We’ve taken care of it, fixed everything that’s gone wrong and have invested the following into it:
- Updated kitchen with new tile back splash and Corian countertop
- New windows on west and north side, and new window in two-story entry on the front of the house
- New roof
- New paint inside and out
- New carpet and pad
- Refinished deck
- hidden storage shed under the deck with electricity (we are not allowed to have external sheds, so this is a bonus)
- lots of built-in shelves in the garage
- lots of built-in shelves in the basement
- Professional landscaping front and back, low maintenance landscaping
- Retaining walls and large patio in the backyard
When no one else sees the value we’ve put into it, it begins to feel worthless. We’re slow on showings and those who do provide feedback don’t even look at all we’ve put into it, but will say things like it doesn’t have granite (we have Corian which is a solid surface that is antibacterial & never has to be resealed) or it doesn’t have tile in the bathrooms (tile and kids don’t mix well). Or that the basement is unfinished (which lowers the taxes and allows them to finish it the way they want it finished and not the way we would want it). Or they don’t like the light oak, or the brick fireplace, or the color of the carpet (which is neutral) we just replaced, etc…When you hear all of these negative comments about something you love, it hurts. We doubt what we’ve done to it and its actual value.
This is what happens when people judge us personally. We’re too short, or too tall. We are too fat, or too thin. We are too fashionable, or dress too ‘poor’. We try to make changes, but then they may say we are trying to hard or the changes we make don’t really make a difference. It hurts! We begin to doubt ourselves and who we are in God. We turn towards Him and instead of focusing on Him, we instead focus on ourselves and ask, “Why is this happening? Why won’t you let me out of this situation? Why won’t you help me?” When we don’t get the answers (or nothing seems to change), we turn negative and feel worthless and think that no one cares, not even God. This negativity moves our focus off of God and drives us deeper into ourselves.
We must not do this to ourselves! We are ALL CHILDREN OF GOD! We are all loved by GOD. We are called not to worry about our lives because it doesn’t add one day to them by worrying. Jesus did not come to save the world for those who love themselves or who are deemed worthy by others, but He died for YOU and He died for ME. It doesn’t matter that my house is perfect but still won’t sell (LOL), or that I’m short, or have brown hair, or a loud laugh, what matters is my value in God. I am a child of God. A sinner who can’t get to heaven on my own, but must go through Him to be saved by Him.
It is the same for all of you out there reading this right now. He came for YOU. He loves YOU and that is what matters. We will always be judged by others, but it is what God thinks that counts. You must go through Jesus in order to get to heaven, just like everyone else.
All of this negativity won’t sell my house. (Yes, I’ve asked St. Joseph for his intercession). All of our personal negativity will not bring us answers from God as to why things happen the way they do. We must not take our focus off of God, and doubt and negativity makes us look only at ourselves and our own struggles and issues.
Also, when we compare our lives to the lives of others around us, we can grow negative about our own life. We may only see the ‘outside’ of their lives which seems glamorous or fun, but don’t see their struggles and pain like we see our own struggles and pain. We also shouldn’t cut someone else down to try to make ourselves feel better, because it won’t work. Judging others for the blessings they’ve received or the struggles they don’t seem to have only makes our own struggles feel bigger. Again, we are all children of God and all have our own crosses to bear. We may not always see the crosses of others, but remember Jesus also died for them.
Only faith in God, belief in Jesus Christ, and guidance of the Holy Spirit can we see our true worth and allow us to see the world through the eyes of God. Life is beautiful. Live like it!
Catholic Upgrade: See life through the eyes of God, and all He created as good. See everyone as Children of God, and do not compare your life to the life of others.